I know. I take far to much pleasure in that fact. The other day I was not available for parenting comment I was passed the-fuck-out due to a shot. So Daddy took the reins. He thought he was invincible. He thought he was in charge.
He soon finds out how weak he is against The Fries. This time it was Small Fry.
Small Fry -1. Daddy-0
See Small Fry is 10 months old and has recently discovered the ability of movement. He moves. A lot. All the time. Everywhere. Diaper changes are no exception. So when Daddy went in to chance Small Fry he discovered that our baby had been replaced by some weird flopping fish out of water. Diapers are impossible. He flops. He flips. Took Dad 20 minutes to put 1 diaper on. How do I know this? I was hiding in the hallway watching. And laughing.
That's right. Instead of offering to help. Instead of giving valuable information. I stood in the hallway with my hand over my mouth and giggled as Small Fry flopped back to front, front to back, kicked, clawed, flopped again, over and over until FINALLY Daddy has the diaper on. And the footed sleeper.
He thinks. This is a re-telling of events from him to me as I was aforementioned passed out. He had Small Fry in the living room and he was admiring how our darling boy had pulled himself to a standing position...and promptly peed in the floor. But how?! HOW he mentally screams. You have a diaper on! So he returns Small Fry to his chambers to discover the scrunched down around his ankle. So again, picture 1 flopping baby, 1 frazzled father, 1 diaper and 1 sleeper. I picture this and I start laughing hysterically.
Because it happens. Again. He doesn't get the diaper on properly due to the flopping baby. Again Small Fry pees through his not secure diaper and through his clothes. Laugh. You know you want too.
I wish I had seen this in person. It's not often it's someone else getting their ass kicked by my kids. Daddy promptly gets the diaper secured (really secured he says. I think he used duct tape(?!) and goes out to have a smoke. And Large Fry promptly points and says (VERY) loudly 'Daddy! I SAID smokes are BAD for you! You are going to get BLACK insides!"
Ahh yeah. My ass got a rest that day. Daddy's was the one that got kicked all over the place.