About Me

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Very Small Town. No really. Don't even try to look., Alberta, Canada
I am a stay at home mother of 2 boys. I try to keep total and complete command of this kingdom. I reign tall! But they are very are skilled little ninjas waiting to take me out at any available opportunity. You would think I would learn my lesson. I don't. Every day, I return. Everyday they kick ass.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Adventures of Puke-a-saur

So Small Fry is sick. Since Friday we have had projectile occurances coming out of him that I didn't think was possible.

So what does a responsible mother do when she is up at 3 am with no sleep in sight with a baby that is just puking? Why she sees which vomit was the farthest of course.

The Vomolypics.

Gross you ask? Well yes. But he was going to do it anyways. I had to clean it up anyways. Might as well make a game of it.

Starting at 2 am until 8 am when Large Fry woke up, we measured teh spewage.


Vomit #1 at 2:12
Vomit #2 at 3:31
Vomit #3 at 3:54
Vomit #4 5:06
Vomit #5 6:22

Win the race?

Those were the only ones worth mentioning. Trust me when I say there were many, many MANY more. The tv is worthless with a crying fussy baby. Plus late night TV just isn't the same without the Oxy Clean guy shouting at me. The ShamWow guy shouts at me but..he's just not the same. Plus he got beat up by a tranny hooker. Or something. So I don't know if I believe him that those ShamWOWs are really WOW.

In any case #4 had the most distance. It was most impressive. I'll spare you the details because, well, it's gross. Not that this entire ENTRY isn't gross but I have an excuse.

I'm tired.

I haven't slept.

He is STILL puking

Did I mention I haven't slept? Because I haven't. I bet all of you guys are sleeping or have slept. Bat rastards. ALL of you. Even the fucking chinchilla is sleeping. Little bitch.

Enjoy your slumber.

1 comment:

  1. I have had kids for over six and a half years and I have yet to have marathon pukes. That blows. Chunks, even.