It seems that during the holidays around this house we have a never ending episode of CSI: Alberta happening around here. I've watched enough of that show to feel I am qualified to do this job and solve these crimes. I just need some kick ass theme music and a pair of shades like Horatio has.
The Most Recent Crime: Small Fry is put under the laundry hamper. When asked about this NO ONE in the house could account for this. Time to go all CSI-y on this crime.
Location. Isn't this what the TV always tells us to look for when accessing a crime? We had the hallway. Hmm. The culprit could have come from a number of doors. This is not helping. Was it..Groom? Large Fry? Fuzz?
Weapon: The weapon in this case was a plastic laundry hamper. I had seen Large Fry playing with it earlier but I try not to get tunnel vision while deciphering the clues before me.
1 Small Fry
1 Sippy Cup (How thoughtful of the perpetrator to think of his drinking needs)
1 white laundry hamper..with socks strewn about the hall.
Hmm. I think.. I *THINK* this was a crime of opportunity. There seems to be one witness and being of the 4 legged variety she isn't giving any statements. In fact she seems to be doing some weird hopp-y dance movement that makes me think she might be on mind altering substances. Not a reliable source.
That leaves me with 2 suspects: Groom and Small Fry. Their statements are as follows:
Groom: What the hell happened to the baby?!
Me: How did he get under there?
Me; Small Fry
Him: Who is Small Fry?
Me: Don't toy with me sonny-boy.
Him: Mother I don't know what you are talking about. Me and Fuzz are leaving.
AHA! Trying to leave the scene of the crime. I think I have my prime suspect but now he has an acomplice and a getaway car.
Here is what I think went down:
Small Fry goes unsuspecting into the hallway. He was heading down to probably pull the toliet paper off the roll when he was ambushed by Large Fry. Large Fry had seen the basket of socks in the hall and found prime opportunity. He casts Fuzz aside and dumps the socks, pulls the basekt over Small Fry and tosses the drink in after to throw us off track. Also likely he did it to buy himself enough time to run away until we noticed that Small Fry was NOT in the room.
Large Fry then comes into the room calmly to distract attention and lays quietly on the couch.
We have opportunity and motive. I think he's busted. But as he so calmly tells me right before I sat down to write this blog post "Mommy..you didn't see ME do anything. You can't tell I did anything!'
Damnit all to hell. I have no proof.