About Me

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Very Small Town. No really. Don't even try to look., Alberta, Canada
I am a stay at home mother of 2 boys. I try to keep total and complete command of this kingdom. I reign tall! But they are very are skilled little ninjas waiting to take me out at any available opportunity. You would think I would learn my lesson. I don't. Every day, I return. Everyday they kick ass.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Shitty Day

Ever have one of those days? This day was shit.

Small Fry freaked out all day. ALLL day. Did I mention all day? Because it was all day.

All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day.

My taco bean salad was crappy. I looked forward to it all morning only to be disappointed. It was mediocre at best. It tasted nothing like what I imagined it would. It was suppose to be spicy, lettuce, crunchy perfection. Food from the Gods as I pat myself on the back and assured myself that I was a fitness fanatic with my healthy lunch. Instead it was boring, soggy, and limp and I would have cut a bitch for a bacon cheeseburger.

Dinner was no better. The hot dog wrapped in bread was vastly superior to whatever that was that I thought I made. My "creation" was shittacular at best. One could almost have used it as a weapon against baddies.

CIA Agent: I can make you talk
Baddie: NEVAR!
CIA Agent: Oh yes. Talk or you have to eat...THIS!
Baddie!! AHHHHH

Take my word for it. It was horrible. So finally, finally bedtime comes. I have something to be excited over. It's my daily date night with Agent Hotchner (rawr) and a peanut buster parfait (I can hear you judging me. I don't care).

I am sliding my new Criminal Minds Season 6 into the DVD player when I hear Small Fry. He's stirring, he's fussy. So I go to check and sure enough he smells foul. So I bring him to the bed to do a quick assessment. He needs changing. It's late.

I get the diaper off and for whatever reason I keep it to the side. Usually I wrapped the diaper up tightly and set it to the side. For whatever reason I did not do this. I suck. In one quick, seamless motion Small Fry grabs the diaper and flings it at me. I manage to sidestep the open face diaper and it hits the floor.

Did it land face up or face down? Please let it be face up. Please please please. I don't want to mop. I don't want to clean the floor. I just want to put child to bed, diaper in the trash and continue with my date with Hotch.

This was a one- step solution. I lost my balance and stepped right into the open face diaper.
oh my God no no no no no Oh my God no no no no no no no no Oh my God no no no no no no no Oh My God no no no no no no no no Oh my God no no no

Hands are on the bed. Foot is in one shitty diaper, wiggling baby, and I am missing Hotch and my husband looks up and says

"Damn. That's shitty."

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