Flying Salmon

I have two boys that live in this household and one older boy that masquerades as a grown adult half the time.

I've noticed that my children solve problems in very different ways. While Large Fry has the ability to work out problems, my Small Fry tends to be true to his one friend: a can of salmon.

Problem: Child locks.

Large Fry has been able to disarm any child lock that was in his path since he was 18 months old. He patiently works the lock, taking time to unlock it carefully, and retrieve whatever he wants.

Small Fry: Smashes the lock with a can of salmon.


Problem: No one is paying attention to him

Large Fry will jump up and down, wave his arms, and become increasingly loud until someone, anyone, notices him.

Small Fry: Will throw a can of salmon at you.

Problem: Anger

Large Fry is a wailer. He wails and cries big crocodile tears at the very THOUGHT of being angry.

Small Fry: Throws a can of salmon. And I don't mean just to the floor. He arches it like a pro football player making the 1 million dollar throw.

Problem: Fighting over a toy

Large Fry has perfected the art of tattling. It can be heard across mountians and seas..the call of "Mooooommmmmyyyy! Small Fry has my toooooooyyyyyyyyy" It makes skin prickle, hairs stand that I will actually have to get off my ass and DO something. A toy intervention, possibly leaving both children pissed off at me and my sanity restored to something you can store in a ziplock bag.

Small Fry smashes Large Fry with a can of salmon. Takes toy and leaves. Doesn't look back.

I've tried to take the can of salmon. He notices. His second choice is a huge can of black beans. I'll take my chances with the salmon.