I think it's time we had a talk. Just me and you. I think we both knew this was coming, so let's just get to the point. I don't like you and you don't like me. Period. Every day I try to avoid you and every day you rear your ugly head into my houes (and brain) demanding I give you some sort of attention.
I will admit you have a purpose. But god damn, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY? Every day, there you are. Waiting, crying out "Wash me!" "Fold me!"
I can't take it anymore. Is one day of peace not acceptable to you? Ever? CAN YOU JUST BE CLEAN FOR ONE DAY?
We can't break up. You have me by the hypothetical balls. I have to deal with you, but I want you to know I don't like it. Not one fucking bit. I'm also concerned you might be waging some sort of attack plan. So here is my plan:
Today I'm ignoring you. Completely. You can sit in the basement and fester for all I care. I'm pretty sure you already multiply when I'm not looking. Discuss it among yourselves. I think the pants probably run this show. They know I'm completely fucked with no pants...
Anyways, back to my plan. You have today to take me over. I'm ignoring you. Tomorrow, though, I plan to go down there and kick your ass.