About Me

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Very Small Town. No really. Don't even try to look., Alberta, Canada
I am a stay at home mother of 2 boys. I try to keep total and complete command of this kingdom. I reign tall! But they are very are skilled little ninjas waiting to take me out at any available opportunity. You would think I would learn my lesson. I don't. Every day, I return. Everyday they kick ass.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Temperment of Small Fry

Small Fry has a temper.

He kind of turns into the Incredible (Little) Hulk I've noticed.

The scene: Home

Small Fry: Has a lethal death grip on the telephone.

Mom's objective: To retrieve the phone

I walk over and plunk the phone from his grasps.

*transformation begins*
What starts as an innocent looking baby suddenly looks like this:

I know. Scary right? His face goes red. Really red. The bottom lip sticks out. The hands clutch into tiny fists of furry.

After transformation and he is fully HULK he then begins the HULK SMASH! I get slightly cold and slightly scared watching my child meta morph into a 19 month that could probably kick my ass in a fight. I'm serious.

He then proceeds to the couch where it stands no chance. He beats it with his tiny fists of fury--willing it to BEND TO HIS EVERY WANT! AND HE WANTS THE GOD DAMN PHONE!

I sputter. I offer toys only to have them hurled towards my head with lightening speed. I offer to rock him only to have the teeth show and he starts to resemble one of these:

So now I have a Hulkaraptor. What the hell do I do now? The most obvious answer is to flee. But where? It's going to take me at least 20 minutes to McGuyver my way around the baby gate. He's rounding the corner of the kitchen. Beads of sweat are forming around my hairline. He's armed with a set of play keys, a string of Marde Gra beads, and a plastic cup. I need to think quick. I'm running out of time. He's coming at me teeth gleaming, his fists ready to Hulk Smash! And I am his next victim...

So how do I combate this? How do I turn him back into Small Fry? His kryptonite. His Dragon's Bane.

That's right. There ain't nothing that food can't fix for this child.

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